Virtue

So here's the thing. Virtue in our society today is debatable - self-reliant, if you can call it that. The notions of one strict virtue, of a right and a wrong, have faded - probably thanks at least in part to that curious era and related personsa of the 60's and Hippies. There is no one central way or school of thought; post-modern artists have opened up the world to possibilities. For example, think of Wicked. The whole premise is about re-thinking first impressions and apperances. Good guys become bad, bad become good. We, for perhaps the first time in human history, encourage seeing the world through a million different viewpoints at once. Maybe it is good, maybe it is bad.
A really relevant issue (for us at least) on this topic is sex. In the past, pre-marital sexual relations, although practiced and perhaps even usual, were not condoned or accepted. That is the whole idea of The Scarlet Letter. But today, sex before marriage is the norm. I'm not saying it is right or it is wrong, it just is. But then again, maybe I should be right or wrong. Emerson would want me to "abide by [my] spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility [even if] the whole cry of voices is on the other side" (132 - 133). Personally, I made the decision for myself about a year ago that I would not have sex before marriage. Call it old-fashioned, but I will be self-reliant. "I...do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows any secondary testimony" (136). This is something I believe in, and I doubt that I will change my mind about it. It is a decision made for me and no one else. That is why I do not wear a purity ring - I admire those who do, but I do not think I need to. "I do not wish to please...I will stand here for humanity, and though I would make it kind, I would make it true" (139).
But what I will not do is tell you how to be or what to think. I will let you be self-reliant on this matter as well. Would Emerson believe that it is my place to tell another human being how to feel about something this personal? "To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private thoughts is true for all men - that is genius. Speak your latent conviction and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost, and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment" (132). I believe that my opinion is right (why else would I have it?) but maybe it is not right for you. I don't know. This is something so unique to each person, who am I to pass judgment on it? "Man [is] clapped into jail by his consciousness" (134). Yes, thank you, Emerson, but who am I to tell other people how to deal with themselves? Being self-reliant means believing in yourself and in your opinions, as if they came from "bards and sages" (132), but wouldn't it be insulting other people's self-reliance to tell them what to believe about so delicate a topic?
"For nonconformity the world whips you with its displeasure" (137). Yes and no, as in all things. Besides my family, I have told less than ten people. When I did mention it, my friend Melody, who's somewhat of a free spirit, coughed out her soup (we were at dinner) and kind of chuckled. But in the same breath, after she asked "Are you serious? Do you mean it?" and I confirmed, she said "Good for you." Both reactions were fine by me; both made me smile. I have my ways and I will live by them (self-reliantly), but I will let Melody lead her life (self-reliantly) as well. We can agree to disagree, I think. The great thing about friends is that we don't have to think alike to like each other. When all around me are self-reliant and comfortable with who they are (including myself), then I shall finally be at peace. "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles" (153).