Self-Reliance in Society

The concept of a self-reliant society is really interesting - and a little confusing. How can a society be emotionally (we're not talking about the economy) self-reliant? But I think we're talking about society meaning people in general and normal human behaviors. Most human beings need to be more self-reliant, a few need to let others in more, and it is the rare exception that believes himself to be perfectly balanced. But perhaps that is the problem - that we do not believe in our own strength, that we do not "believe [our] own thought...that what is true for [us] is true for all men" (132). Every human believes that he is the loneliest person in the world, that he is the only one struggling with and doubting himself. That's just not true. Look around right now. Can you see anyone from where you're sitting? If not, can you find a picture? If not, imagine the most powerful person you know. Can you see them clearly? Guess what: they are just as scared and confused as you are - and everybody is scared and confused at some point or another. Most men do not "speak [their] latent conviction [believing that] it shall be the universal sense...[they] dismiss[their] thought, because it is" theirs (132). I'm sure that now you're thinking Well, not everyone does that. I know this arrogant jerk who thinks his insights are the greatest in the universe. Guess what? That arrogant jerk is probably more unsure of himself and his insights than anyone else. That's why he keeps shoving them in your face. He's looking for validation from you, for someone else to back him up and believe in him, because he does not believe in himself.
It is our job, each as individuals, and without outside help or "secondary testimony" (136), to validate ourselves, to look in the mirror and see ourselves for what we truly are. Not angels, not devils, not saints, not lepers, but humans, and be proud of that simple fact. For it is only when we accept who we are and the truths about ourselves that we can grow and change for what we (not society) believes is the better and thus self-actualize and be at peace with ourselves. If we see something we do not like in the mirror, we must change ourselves to fit with who we want to be, "leav[ing behind an old] theory, as Joseph his coat in the hand of the harlot, and flee" (138) into a new persona. It is all right to change if we do not like who we are. "Why drag about this corpse of your memory, lest you contradict some what you have stated in this or that public place? Suppose you contradict yourself; what then?" (138) It is okay, nay, even great to change and evolve if it makes you happier to do you, if you feel better about yourself for doing so. If, though, you are bending over backwards to praise people, then wake up! Emerson told us in Gifts that if you give a gift just to please people, they will use it and not change their opinion of you. But if you give yourself, that is the true gift, and the right people will accept you. And if they don't accept you, Emerson says, so what? "To be great is to be misunderstood" (138). It's not very comforting, to be sure, but it is self-reliant. In the end, all that matters is that each man "know[s] his worth...wakes up, exercises his reason, and finds himself a true prince" (140). Believe in yourself. It is a cliche, but what Emerson wants you to do is earn your self-belief by proving yourself to yourself. "The picture waits for my verdict; it is not to command me, but I am to settle its claims to praise" (140). Society should not have to validate you; you must validate society. And you must validate yourself, until you reach the point in life where you can look straight into the mirror, smile, and be glad of what you see.